A Whimsical Take on Bar Exam Prep: 'Twas the Night Before the Bar Exam
As we all know, the journey to becoming a licensed attorney is no small feat, especially when faced with the daunting bar exam. But who says we can't infuse a bit of humor and whimsy into this challenging experience? Here's a playful twist on a classic holiday poem, reimagined for the bar exam season.
Presenting: 'Twas the Night Before the Bar Exam! (courtesy of ChatGPT 4).
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'Twas the night before the bar exam, when all through the dorm,
Not a student was stirring, the atmosphere warm;
The flashcards were stacked on the desk with great care,
In hopes that the answers would certainly be there;
The law students nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of case laws danced in their heads;
And I in my study guide, and roommate in cap,
Had just settled our brains for a pre-exam nap,
When out in the study hall there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a breeze,
Tore open the curtains and felt the cold freeze.
The moon on the crest of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a luster of midday to outlines below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature courtroom and eight tiny lawyer-deer,
With a little old judge, so lively and stern,
I knew in a moment I had more to learn.
More rapid than eagles, the topics they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Torts! now, Contracts! now, Procedure and Evidence!
On, Property! on, Ethics! on, Criminal and Precedence!
To the top of the bar! to the top of the hall!
Now study away! study away! study away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the library-top the topics they flew
With a sleigh full of textbooks, and the old judge too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Bar Exam came with a bound.
He was dressed all in robes, from his head to his foot,
And his gown was all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of outlines he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a professor just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his questions how tricky!
His cheeks like roses, his demeanor so picky!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pen he held tight in his hand,
And the aura it gave off was quite grand;
He had a broad face and a round little belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old jurist,
And I laughed when I saw him, my stress at its furthest;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the outlines; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
"Happy bar exam to all, and to all a good night!"
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